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Pappa Bengt, The World's A Lonelier Place

by - Friday, April 16, 2010

A number of my Facebook friends have been wondering why I've posted a sad face :-( on my wall lately. Some have posted their inquiry comments while others sent their questions through PMs.

I've been wanting to create this post sooner however, whenever I make an attempt to begin writing down the first words I feel my heart being crushed. I've thought that by letting a couple of days passed by the pain will be a little lighter but that hasn't been the case.

I've been spending some time in front of my laptop now, staring blanky on the screen, waiting for the courage to set in. My fingers are heavy and my emotions are killing me. I am looking for the right words to say. I can't seem to figure out when and where to begin...

I didn't had the oppportunity to whisper my last farewell to Pappa Bengt [my boyfriend's dad]. He passed away a couple of nights ago. He had an accident earlier this week in his house [Pardon me if I would not be writing about the details here]. Luckily, a neighbor heard the loud noises coming from pappa's house and called for an ambulance. Pappa Bengt suffered from massive bruises all over his body, severe black marks on the face and the neck, internal bleeding and a series of cardiac infarction. Just when we were about to drive to the hospital and visit him, my boyfriend received a phone call from Pappa Bengt's attending physician informing him the sad news.

It has been a very sorrowful week especially for my boyfriend and the rest of the family. Tears are freely falling, hearts are broken.

You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.


- Chuck Palahniuk
[American freelance Journalist, Satirist and Novelist. b.1961]

On the photo below: Pappa Bengt and Janne, May 2009
On the photo below: The very first time I met Pappa Bengt, July 2007

On the photo below: With Pappa Bengt on my first Midsummer's Day, May 2008On the photo below: With Pappa Bengt on my second Midsummer's Day, May 2009
Before the tragedy has taken place, I've been looking forward to spending my third Midsummer's Day with Pappa Bengt but I am afraid that reality is telling me, "It's not going to happen --- not soon, not anymore."

For accepting me and loving me without question, thank you Pappa Bengt.

Pappa Bengt, the world's a lonelier place without you now. We love you. We'll miss you. We'll always remember you. Farewell... Sending you our kisses and warmest hugs! [Puss och kram]

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16 comments

  1. Aww, I'm very sorry to hear about this, and can understand the feelings you have right now.

    My condolences to you, your boyfriend, and Pappa's family. :(

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  2. Sorry to hear about it Ann, Im sure your pappa Bengt is in the hand of God, my condolence to you, your boyfriend and his family. Life has an ending and that is the fact we need to accept everytime someone we love passed away but i understand that you need time to heal that pain inside you..

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  3. =-O =-O =-O =-O =-O

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  4. OMG what sort of accident is that? Sounds like a terrible one and in his home? =-O =-O =-O =-O =-O

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  5. Please accept our sincerest condolences for ur BF and his family... it must have been a shock to you guys and of course, losing anyone is never easy. I am just glad that u are around to help ur BF get through this trying moment, big hugs for u sweetie! :'( :'( :)

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  6. im too affected..cud find the words to say to you too, right now... my deepest condolences to Janne's family and you too. take care always. God is with you all.

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  7. Condolence to your family-in-law Ovah.. :-(

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  8. aww that's really sad. so sorry. my heart goes out to you guys...

    and i just have to say this, you're so lucky to have had an in-law who loves you back.

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  9. Thanks a lot Bleep. You are so right. I am really lucky to have great in laws. :) :) :)

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  10. Thanks 'Cai :(

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  11. Thanks for always being a good friend 'Yet! YOu, too.. take care. Hugs.

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  12. Thanks Blugging David!. It was such a very sad moment.

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  13. Thank you Shy. We just miss hiim so much.

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  14. Not sure yet, Mar'. :( :( :( :(

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  15. Thank you a lot Mar' ... My boyfriend's doing better now. Still sad but okey.

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